Mermaid Body

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December 17, 2013:
A re-airing of the documentary (or psedoumentary) about the mermaid body is gaining a lot of fans thanks to "new evidence of mermaids. Internet abuzz with mermaid body documentary news.

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The Extended Cut:

Mermaids: The New Evidence - The Extended Cut" appeared on Animal Planet on December 16, 2013. Note that "The New Evidence" is the sequel to "The Body Found" but made after "The Phantom Menace."

Has an actual mermaid body been discovered?

"Documentary" creates controversy, has people believing in mermaids.

Mermaid Body PictureAn Animal Planet show called "Mermaids: The Body Found" purports to show the body and fossils of mermaids. Filmed in a documentary style format reminicient of the Blair Witch Project (which people also believed) the show had people believing in mermaids to the extent that the NOAA had to release a statement indicating that mermaids are not in fact real. This of course only compounds the intrigue, because an official government denial is tantamount to an admission that there is something worth covering up. Conspiracy theorists who already don't trust the Warren Commission Report, the offical story on 9-11, or denials of UFOs are going to see the NOAA statement as another denial that only proves that mermaids are in fact real.

The best part of all is that the type of people who believe in Mermaids, UFOs, and a shadowy cabal of international bankers are not going to believe any rational argument you have, and the more you talk the more defensive they become until they become convinced that you are actually a part of the secret conspiracy, or one of the SHEEPLE who enjoys getting his or her facts spoon-fed directly from the all-powerful global conspiracy that apparently spends so much time controlling minds that it can't fix our bridges and roads.

Of course, in our own modern culture, the next logical question arises as to whether a Zombie Mermaid could beat a Vampire Mermaid in hand-to-hand combat, or in acquiring the love of a weepy teenage girl. What is the preferred diet of half-human, half fish people? Do they speak English, as all space creatures and sentient beings should? Do they know whatever happened to Daryl Hannah? Inquiring minds want to know!

Notes and Special Information

Special note: As we all know, the native mermaid population was wiped out by tuna fishermen back in the 1960s. Once they discovered the horror of wiping out the last specimen with drift nets, they honored her by placing her image on tuna fish cans, where they remain today. However, true canned tuna conniseurs will claim that the flavor of tuna has not been as good since it no longer contains traces of mermaid, which is the tastiest of all the humanoid fishes.